How to Increase Your Social Intelligence



People with social intelligence have the ability to perceive the emotions of others, navigate social interactions with ease, and exude confidence even in group settings. While they may be known for their "people skills," what they truly possess is social intelligence.


The concept of social intelligence was initially introduced by American psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920. He described it as the capacity to comprehend and handle interpersonal relationships with wisdom. Social intelligence is not innate; rather, it is a skill set that individuals develop and refine over time.

Signs of Social Intelligence

People who are socially intelligent display core traits that help them communicate and connect with others.

  • Effective Listening: A person with social intelligence listens attentively, not just to respond but to truly understand what the other person is saying. This leaves the other party feeling heard and connected.
  • Conversational Skills: Some individuals have the ability to engage in meaningful conversations with anyone they meet. They are tactful, appropriate, humorous, and sincere, making others feel valued and remembered.
  • Reputation Management: Socially intelligent individuals are mindful of the impression they leave on others. Managing one's reputation involves striking a balance between creating a positive image and staying true to oneself.
  • Avoiding Arguments: People with social intelligence know that arguing or belittling others is not productive. They listen with an open mind, even to ideas they may not personally agree with, fostering understanding and respect.

How to Develop Social Intelligence


Some individuals may naturally acquire social intelligence, while others may need to put in effort to cultivate it. Fortunately, there are specific strategies that can assist in enhancing one's social skills. These techniques can aid in the development of social intelligence:

  • Be mindful of your surroundings and the people in them. Socially intelligent individuals are observant and pick up on subtle social cues from those around them. If you admire someone's people skills, take note of how they interact with others.
  • Focus on improving your emotional intelligence. While similar to social intelligence, emotional intelligence involves managing your own emotions and empathizing with others. This includes recognizing and regulating your emotions, as well as being able to identify and control negative feelings in social situations.
  • Respect and seek to understand cultural differences. Socially intelligent individuals recognize that people may have different responses and customs based on their upbringing. Take the time to learn about and appreciate cultural diversity.
  • Practice active listening to enhance your social intelligence. Improve your communication skills by listening attentively without interrupting. Take the time to understand what others are saying before responding, and pay attention to the nuances in their words to truly understand their meaning.
  • Value the important relationships in your life. Socially intelligent individuals have deep connections with those who are significant to them. Pay attention to the emotions of your loved ones, friends, and colleagues, as neglecting these relationships can hinder your ability to connect with them effectively.

A Word From Verywell


Mastering social intelligence is no simple task; otherwise, awkward conversations at parties would cease to exist. Nevertheless, striving for a robust social intelligence can enhance one's life, or at the very least, facilitate the process of making new friends.

Examine social scenarios closely, taking note of both exemplary behavior and pitfalls to avoid. Reflect on these observations and consider how you can approach future social situations differently.

Take proactive measures to enhance your social skills, while keeping in mind that occasional blunders are inevitable. Embrace the opportunity to learn from both your failures and triumphs.


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